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To which I say… WTF!

I got home from the gym last night, a measly 35 minutes on the elliptical but better than nothing, am minding my own business and cooking chicken tenders from the Hungry Girl cookbook when my doorbell rings.  My mom isn’t home, my sister has already gone back to school, it’s 7:00 at night and I am not expecting anyone.  Hmm, intriguing.  I walk over to the front door and peek out the side window to see who it is, but the person is leaning against the far side of the front porch, so all I can see are shoes.  At which point the rational and calm inner me takes over. “Holy shit, someone is here to kidnap me and break into the house, ohmygod, what am I going to do!?”

So, what do I do?  Well, I’ll tell you.  I dropped to my hands and knees and crawled back into the kitchen and was about to stand up when I realized that the blinds for our front window were open, and kidnapper on the front porch could very easily look in and see me standing in the kitchen.  So I crawled over to the windows, pressed myself against the wall, and decided to sit there until the person went away even if it meant burning my dinner.  Well about an hour three minutes and four rings of the doorbell later, I was getting impatient and decided to try to sneak a peek.  I slowly stood up and looked around the corner towards the front door, and just my luck the mystery intruder was peering through the window.  Fuck, spotted.  It wasn’t an insane murderous kidnapper, but my father, the same father I haven’t seen or spoken to in years, so it was almost just as scary.

It became clear at this point that not answering the door was not an option, so I sucked it up, took a deep breath and opened the door.  He wanted to come in and talk, but I was busy and already worried about burning my chicken fingers, so I said, “no, now is not a good time, no one else is home and I am not comfortable letting you in”.  Understandably he was offended, but I haven’t talked to him in five years, and showing up unannounced on my doorstep is not the way to start.

Luckily, my chicken tenders did not burn and were very delicious.  I also made some Kraft Mac and Cheese to go with them, oh and a GIANT glass of red wine that I may have refilled once or twice.

Instead of using breadcrumbs and frying the chicken, this recipe calls for Fiber One Original cereal, ground to bread crumb consistency, pepper, and garlic salt.  You coat the chicken in egg and this mixture then bake for 10 minutes on one side, flip the strips, and bake for another 7-10 minutes.  Another delicious, low-fat meal, and a one serving recipe.

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4 Responses

  1. Really funny stuff.I enjoyed reading it.

    Thank goodnees your dinner wasn’t burnt!

  2. I bet you wish it had been someone to kidnap you at the door.

    so glad you’re enjoying your cookbook, although I wish you were making these meals for me too!

  3. […] I have no running buddy and as I have mentioned before I have this completely rational irrational fear of being kidnapped.  I blame all the episodes of 48 Hour Mystery that I watch.  But seriously, on the occasions that […]

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