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In a Rut

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in a huge life rut.  Normally I try not to bitch and moan too much on here, but there comes a point when you just need to let it all out or you explode.  So yeah, today is that day.

Rut # 1 is my job.  I’ve been working at the same place for almost 3 years, and receive nothing more than I did when I started.  I’m a contracted employee which means I’m not technically a “real” employee of my company.  I don’t get paid sick time, it took me 2 years to acquire 10 vacation days, I don’t get promotions, raises, benefits, included in company holiday parties, or to do summer hours.  With summer rapidly approaching, the last one is really annoying me.  The rest of the “real” employees are given the option of working an extra hour a day every other week and getting that every other Friday off, but not me.  There was supposed to be something in the works for me to become a “real” employee but nothing has been said about it for over a month.  So frustrating.

Rut #2 is my leg.  I never ever thought I would miss running so much in my life.  I’ve been injured since January 31, and the lack of running and exercise in general is slowly driving me insane.  The slow and steady weight gain over the past few weeks isn’t helping either.  Lately I find myself going through extreme exercise guilt if I don’t go workout.  Last night my knee and hip were just feeling off, so I didn’t go swimming and it killed me all night, even though somewhere in my head I know it was the best decision in the long run.  There are so many time I just want to burst into tears in frustration.

Rut #3 is my personal life.  I never planned to live at home for this long after college.  Next month will mark three years since I graduated, and I’m still at home with no foreseeable move out in the future.  I have three friends in the area where I live, and  I met them through work.  One is engaged, one lives with her boyfriend, and one is about to live with her boyfriend, so they’re all very busy girls which leaves me with a lot of time on my hands to do nothing.  Almost every single friend from college lives in the Northern Virginia area, and they are all together, which constantly leaves me feeling alone and left out whenever they talk about weekend plans or weekday happy hours.  Then there is the latest, the bf is moving six hours away to go to law school in August.  While I’m very happy for him, six hours by car is a lot different from an hour and a half train ride, and it’s going to be a lot harder to see each other.  On top of which, there is no way for our relationship to move forward now until law school is over.

So there it is, the things that bring me down on a daily basis, sorry to be such a downer today, but sometimes it’s just impossible to find something cheery to write about.  Ok, moving on to better things like food!

The “real” employees attended a luncheon at PF Chang’s yesterday afternoon (I was not allowed to go) so naturally I was craving Chinese food all day and decided to give in.

Steamed pork dumplings, a vegetable spring roll, and chicken lo-mein.  It was delicious and the first time all week I had take-out so I didn’t feel too guilty about it.  The only thing now is the huge amount of leftovers in my fridge, good thing the bf is coming to visit today, I’m sure he’ll take care of that.

I have PT tonight, at which I fully tend to express my concern about feeling like shit this week, and then I’m picking up the bf from the train station.  It’s supposed to be a great night so I took some chicken out of the freezer to defrost to have a bbq later.  I promised the bf I’d take him out to dinner to celebrate law school, so I think we’re going to go somewhere in Philly on Saturday.  Philly girls, any suggestions?  I also think we’re going to the zoo :).

Alright that’s all from me today, I hope everyone has a great Thursday!  Oh and P.S. Modern Family and Cougar Town were fantastic as always last night!

Holy shinsplints batman

Let me just get this off my chest for a minute, I hate people.  I know, shocker right?  I’m going to take this opportunity to yell at the complete d-bag who found it necessary to pass a school bus this morning.  Really, is that appropriate?  1) the school bus was at least going the 45 mph speed limit, 2) you could have caused an accident with kids on board, 3) is that two minutes you gained from passing it really going to make a difference in the grand scheme of things? 4) you are an idiot.  Ok, I feel better.

Onto last nights workout.  Well, it had been six years since the last time but I fell off the treadmill.  Thankfully this time wasn’t nearly as embarrassing, I did not get flung into the wall behind me and lay in a ball stunned for a minute like Freshman year.  I was standing with my feet on the sides of the belt while I blew my nose, and my left one slipped off and I fell.  I tried to grab onto the handrails to stop myself, but missed and scraped my arm and inside of my ankle.  I didn’t know what else to do, so I started laughing and looked at the guy next to me who was also laughing and he goes, “hey, it happens”.  Moderately mortified i stepped back on the treadmill to continue my run.

My shins typically hurt at the beginning of every run, but the pain usually goes away half a mile to a mile in.  Yesterday, every step for four miles sent a throbbing pain through both shins, and when I finished running I could barely touch them without cringing.  Fucking shin splints, I hate them, after an entire year of consistently running 4+ miles, three days a week or more I should not have them.  And no, I won’t go to a doctor because I am stubborn and know the medical advice will be ice, Advil, and rest.  So I will run through the pain, and then bitch about it here to you people.  Thanks for listening!

Ok so yesterday, 4 miles in 36.30, altogether 4.42 miles in 42 minutes.  Almost to my goal of 4 miles in 35 minutes, and almost a minute faster than Tuesdays run.  Very much looking forward to not having to rush home from work, change, and go to the gym today.  Thinking about just popping in the yoga dvd, and then making a cosmo, or a vodka and club.  I haven’t had any vodka in weeks, for those of you who know me, you know this is extremely unusual and shocking.  Those of you who don’t, there was a period of time during the summer when I was going through a liter of 3 Olives a week.  Those were some dark times… moving on.

No plans for this weekend, and while that makes me very boring, I am looking forward to just being able to chill.  I just need to stay away from places where I get sucked into spending crap loads of money, like Barnes and Noble and the liquor store.  Maybe I’ll finally unpack my suitcase from NYE weekend, yup it is totally still sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor with clothes in it.  For someone so freakishly obsessed with organization my room is a disaster area, for some reason it doesn’t bother me when it is messy.  Well since now I’m just rambling (it’s the caffeine, Friday Starbucks treat!) I’m gonna go.  Happy Friday, hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

To which I say… WTF!

I got home from the gym last night, a measly 35 minutes on the elliptical but better than nothing, am minding my own business and cooking chicken tenders from the Hungry Girl cookbook when my doorbell rings.  My mom isn’t home, my sister has already gone back to school, it’s 7:00 at night and I am not expecting anyone.  Hmm, intriguing.  I walk over to the front door and peek out the side window to see who it is, but the person is leaning against the far side of the front porch, so all I can see are shoes.  At which point the rational and calm inner me takes over. “Holy shit, someone is here to kidnap me and break into the house, ohmygod, what am I going to do!?”

So, what do I do?  Well, I’ll tell you.  I dropped to my hands and knees and crawled back into the kitchen and was about to stand up when I realized that the blinds for our front window were open, and kidnapper on the front porch could very easily look in and see me standing in the kitchen.  So I crawled over to the windows, pressed myself against the wall, and decided to sit there until the person went away even if it meant burning my dinner.  Well about an hour three minutes and four rings of the doorbell later, I was getting impatient and decided to try to sneak a peek.  I slowly stood up and looked around the corner towards the front door, and just my luck the mystery intruder was peering through the window.  Fuck, spotted.  It wasn’t an insane murderous kidnapper, but my father, the same father I haven’t seen or spoken to in years, so it was almost just as scary.

It became clear at this point that not answering the door was not an option, so I sucked it up, took a deep breath and opened the door.  He wanted to come in and talk, but I was busy and already worried about burning my chicken fingers, so I said, “no, now is not a good time, no one else is home and I am not comfortable letting you in”.  Understandably he was offended, but I haven’t talked to him in five years, and showing up unannounced on my doorstep is not the way to start.

Luckily, my chicken tenders did not burn and were very delicious.  I also made some Kraft Mac and Cheese to go with them, oh and a GIANT glass of red wine that I may have refilled once or twice.

Instead of using breadcrumbs and frying the chicken, this recipe calls for Fiber One Original cereal, ground to bread crumb consistency, pepper, and garlic salt.  You coat the chicken in egg and this mixture then bake for 10 minutes on one side, flip the strips, and bake for another 7-10 minutes.  Another delicious, low-fat meal, and a one serving recipe.