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Getting Heavy, Literally

I’m about to whine a lot about my body, gaining weight, losing weight, and my issues with weight, so if that kinda thing is gonna bother you or make you uncomfortable might I suggest you stop reading after this first paragraph and come back another day.  Doesn’t mean I love ya any less if you do that. First though, I went to a real doctor last night who was appalled by the fact that I’ve been sick for six weeks.  He prescribed me two new drugs to add to my growing collection and if they don’t work I need to go back for xrays and blood tests.  Whomp, whomp.  I’m now taking a prescription steroid (MethylPREDNISolone) a variation of Prednisone, which for all you SMASH fans is what Ivy was taking in this weeks ep with all the fun side effects, yay, and an antibiotic.  Apparently the inflammation in my nasal cavity and ears was too much for the antibiotic to work effectively, so the steroid is to help that.  Fun stuff.

Anyway, that doctor’s appointment is what sent me spiraling down the stairs of self-hatred and depression because I had to get weighed.  I haven’t been on a scale since my hospital visit last Memorial Day, and I try to keep it that way because of the effect it has on me. Well yesterday, I was 10 lbs up from that weight, bringing me up a total of 25ish from where I was in 2009.  That means every single pound I worked hard to lose three years ago has crept back onto my body, and I’m not ok with that. Now, for some photo comparison.

2009, about 1 month before I starting trying to lose weight. Excuse the douchey ex bf pic, photos from that time are hard to come by since I um, deleted them all.

Then, about 8 months later, post training for a 10 mile race and a break-up that devastated me, here I am 25 lbs thinner.

Sept. 2009 at what was probably my lowest weight

It’s not attainable for me, at all to be at that weight again, and probably not too healthy either, and I only had about 1 pair of pants that weren’t too big, but there I am.

August 2010, where I'd like to be

That’s about a year and 8lbs heavier, and where I’d like to be.  Those jeans haven’t really fit me since I moved to VA and it makes me cry.

Feb. 2012

And finally last month in Wisconsin, and about where I am now. And well the picture I posted yesterday was from Wednesday. I like to think I don’t look the same at all as I do in the picture from Jan. 2009, but I don’t really know.  I had previously accepted the fact that I’d gained weight since our trip to Jamaica, and I tend to hold it in my ass and thighs and my paints are tight.  My waist measurement has gone up about an inch and a half as well though.

After last night’s doctors appointment I got home and went for an hour and fifteen minute walk/run just to calm myself. I covered about 4.8 miles and instantly felt slightly better.  I have huge issues with restriction that started way back in high school and have reared their ugly head in college and post-grad, and all night I fought the thoughts in my head telling me to alternately skip dinner/drown my sorrows in a bag of chips. It’s a struggle and I don’t like feeling like this crazy person controlled by a number and food.  The truth is, for the past two weeks I’ve been really on track with nutrition and working out, I eat my cereal for breakfast, enjoy a sandwich and yogurt for lunch, sometimes a Z-bar before or after a workout and a normal dinner.  Last week dinner was a piece of chicken and some rice, this week it’s been chicken and pasta and chicken and a sweet potato.

Back when I was at the weight I’d like to be I was running 3-4 days a week and working out for six, so I guess that’s what I need to start doing again.  I realize I’ve but on a significant amount of muscle in this last year, which I know contributes to the scale jump, but I’m still not happy.  If you stop reading 300 words ago, that’s cool, but I really just need to write about this shit or I drive myself insane in my own head.

Sorry for the downer Friday post, maybe I’ll try to make up for it over the weekend.

So. Damn. Good.

Holler friends!  It’s been a while since this happened around these parts, but today I have a new (well to me) recipe for ya’ll!  I know I’ve mentioned this a few times before, but lately I’ve made some dietary changes; for no other reason than I wanted to see if it would help me drop some weight.

Here’s the dealio, Monday through Friday I pretty much eat the exact same thing for breakfast and lunch.  Breakfast is an egg bake with bacon, peppers, and onions, and for 4 days of breakfast I use 8 eggs and 8 pieces of bacon.  During my weekly grocery shopping trip, I purchase one rotissiere chicken which I pull apart once cooled and throw on my boring salad of spinach, cucumber, and mixed bag of lettuce for lunch.  Along with my salad I eat a piece of fruit, now it’s an apple, prior to this a peach.

Dinner is what’s been the struggle for me.  Despite my Irish heritage, I am a huge fan of Italian food.  Cooking it, eating it, smelling it, etc, so trying to eliminate carbs and dairy from dinner time has been interesting.  I’m also not a huge fan of red meat not in the form of ground beef, and would rather starve than eat a piece of fish… so there’s that.  That’s why there’s been a lot of meatloaf, stuffed peppers, and shepherds pie lately.

Last night, I ventured out of my ground beef/turkey rut and cooked an absolutely amazing dinner involving chicken sausages, onions, and peppers.  I initially found this recipe online, glanced at it to get an approximate idea and went to town in my kitchen.  I used a package of Al Fresco Sweet Italian Chicken Sausages, and I’m a big fan.

brown the sausages on all sides in a pan with a little bit of olive oil

While the sausages are browning, chop your onion, garlic, and peppers

Once the sausages have browned on all sides, remove them from the pan, add some butter and swirl it around to make it melt.

I think heaven will smell like melted butter

Toss in your onions and garlic and let them cook for 2-3 minutes

Add all your peppers and some wine, season with oregano and basil

So the original recipe called for 1/4 cup of white wine, but I have transitioned to the fall/winter staple of red wine so that was all I had in the house.  It works JUST fine.

Slice up your sausages while everything in the pan cooks together

Side note, if you plan on serving this on a bun or with some crusty bread, there’s no need to slice that shit up.  I ate it in a bowl, so it was easier this way.

Bam, back all in the pan together

Cover and cook like this on low for about 15 minutes.  Pour yourself a glass of the wine you were cooking with, because you should never cook with wine without having a glass.  Anxiously watch the timer count down, and then stuff your face!

Yo, seriously, so effing good. I had to keep myself to just one bowl because this needs to be dinner for the rest of the week also.  You can bet this dish has officially made its rotation into my new, boring diet.  Maybe next time I’ll cut out the butter, that kind of defeats the purpose.

In terms of the goal of dropping some weight… I think it’s working.  I’ve definitely noticed some more muscle definition in my arms and stomach, and my face looks less puffy on any given day.  Granted, I do give myself permission to eat whatever I want on the weekends, be it cheese or carbs so that is probably detrimental, but I like the changes I think I’ve seen.  Although, it could all just be in my mind.

Chicken Sausage, Onions, and Peppers
1 package of Chicken Sausage (4)
1/2 of a large Yellow Onion
1 Green Bell Pepper
1.5 Red Bell Peppers
3 Cloves of Garlic
1 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp Olive Oil
1/4 cup of wine

Heat the olive oil in a large pan, and brown your sausages on all sides.  While the sausages are browning, prepare your onion and peppers by slicing them into thin strips; dice your garlic.  Once brown, remove the sausages from the heat and set aside.  Add the butter to the pan, and swirl it around to melt it and coat the bottom.  Add the onion and garlic to the melted butter and cook for 2-3 minutes; add the peppers.  Once all of the vegetables are in the pan, season with basil and oregano and add your wine.  Cook until all the vegetables are tender.  Return the sausages to the pan (sliced or whole) turn the heat to low, and cover and simmer for 15 minutes.  Serve!

Oh the Things that Excite Me

So, in the most exciting thing to happen to me in a while, I switched my nail polish from my usual Black Cherry Chutney to An Affair in Red Square!

I figured it was a little more festive for the wedding tomorrow.  My toes are still my favorite shade of purple though.  Speaking of the wedding tomorrow, I’m willing to bet the lovely bride to be is none to pleased that there will be a Phillies game on during her wedding reception.  Her fiance is the type to never miss a game, so the fact that it is a playoff game should make things interesting.

Also exciting?  This shirt, that was too small on me all last year, and last worn as shown here on Christmas Eve 2009, fits again!  So while my thighs and ass don’t appear to be losing any circumference at least my upper body is?  Also, wow we are pale.

So yeah, I’m heading home right after work today, and praying that traffic doesn’t make me cry.  I also need to stop drinking water around 2 pm so I don’t have to pee every five minutes.  Here’s to hoping I make it home in time to watch the majority of the Yankees game tonight.  Also, here’s to hoping they win and move on.

That’s really all I’ve got for ya today, perhaps I’ll check in on my Facebook page over the weekend with some updates on what I decide to do with my hair and wedding photos.  Cheers to the weekend!  Well for me, sorry if you have another day of work tomorrow.