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I Survived, Kinda

So Vegas, literally kicked my ass…

My feet may never be the same again from the excessive amount of time they spent crammed into high heels.  I never knew it was possible for feet to swell so much… seriously.  That bruise on my arm?  A pole dancing casualty.  Let’s back up to the beginning though.

The roommates and I were up at the ass crack of dawn (4:30 am) on Friday morning to hit the road to Baltimore for our 8 am flight out to Vegas.  We flew Southwest, and weren’t in an early boarding group, so ended up in the very last row of the plane in order to sit together.  Soon after boarding, we all passed out.

post 4 am wake-up call, pre-3 hour plane nap

Eventually I woke up and took some pictures as we flew over New Mexico, there’s not much down there… at all.

In no time I spotted the Hoover Dam and knew we must be close to our final destination.

The three of us made it to our condo by 11:30 am, and met up with two other members of the bridal party and did some decorating before heading out for some lunch.

Lunch was a quick stop at Emeril’s restaurant in the MGM Grand before heading back to the condo to wait for our bride to be to arrive.  Once she did, we all changed into our sparkliest outfits and most uncomfortable shoes to head out for a night on the town.


I spy, a pink penis center piece.  First stop was Aria for dinner at Sirio, where we all enjoyed some delicious Italian food and numerous bottles of wine.

I'll have a little of the white and red please

So many sequins.  (Completed unrelated note, that shirt annoyed the crap outta me all night and left me with a rash on the underside of both my arms where it rubbed).  After dinner, we moved on to Encore where we partied at XS with some famous DJ (who knows, I don’t really care) until I could literally no longer stand.  Thankfully there were places to sit near some VIP tables, and the bachelor party next to us was happy to share their bottle of vodka with us.  Finally around 3 am we drug ourselves out of the club and home to our beds, a mere 26 hours after waking up.  Yes, if you don’t count the time change, which my body surely was not, I was up until 5 or 6 am.  Ouch.

Unfortunately, in Vegas there is no time for hangovers or tiredness and at 9 am later that morning I was awoke by the sound of giggles and bagels, and a bottle of champagne popping.  Time to do it all over again.  It takes 9 girls a really long time to get ready (even with 3 showers) so it was a few hours later before we were out again to explore the strip.  Even so, we were on the 11 am shuttle to the Monte Carlo.

walking up and down the strip

I spy, a pink penis veil.  This was my first time to Vegas, so I was really excited to see the strip and all the amazingly huge hotels.  I took pictures of almost everything, but I’ll spare you the full collection.  However, I think The Cosmopolitan may be my favorite.

I would like to stay here next

Of course we stopped for some photo ops along the way.  New life plan, dress up in costumes on the strip and charge people to take their picture with me.

Our lovely B2B has a “Springtime in Paris” wedding theme, so our destination for the afternoon was The Paris, where we enjoyed some outdoor cocktails and pizza while taking in the fountain show at The Bellagio across the street.

Not France

After some more exploring, we had to head back to the condo to change into some stripper gear (totally serious) as we had a 5:45 pole dancing class to attend.  It was one of my favorite parts of the weekend, and I learned I could always have a fall back career as a pole dancer.  We also gave each other lap dances.  It was awesomely hilarious and I highly, highly recommend it for bachelorette party fun.  Also? My arms have never been so sore in my life, I can’t even lift them completely over my head, so it was also an awesome hour-long workout.  There are photos, but they are for the bridal parties eyes only :).

After pole dancing it was some serious quick changes and sprucing up that happened as we had a 9 pm reservation at Blue Ribbon in The Cosmopolitan that they only hold for 10 minutes.  Talk about a stressful time crunch!  Anyway, we all made it and had an awesome dinner that include the 3rd best fried chicken in the world, apparently.

more sequinssss

After dinner it was onto Vanity in the Hard Rock, which we got into for free, and hung out for a few hours.  The majority of us called it quits early by Vegas standards but my second night in a row in heels was doing me in and I wasn’t the only one.  We still stayed up hanging out in the condo, and I was cursing our 10 am check-out time on Sunday morning.  We had one last lunch on the strip before heading to the airport for our 2:25 pm flight to the East coast.

We didn’t make it home until after midnight on Sunday evening, and when I was still soul-crushingly tired this morning at 9:30 I was congratulating myself on having the foresight to take today off from work.

So in short, Vegas was awesome and injured me, I am still a zombie, I am scared to look at my credit card activity.  I can’t wait to go back!

Brunette Moments?

So, you guys know I’m kind of ditzy right?  I say and do some really dumb shit, often.  Like that time I accidentally “liked” an ex-boyfriends relationship status change on Facebook.  That was embarrassing.  Oh, I never told you all about that?  It started innocently enough, I saw said ex-bf was now “in a relationship” and 8 people had “liked” the status. Obviously I wanted to see who had done so, but instead of clicking on “people who like this” I clicked “like”, and then there it was “Kelly McCormick and 8 others like this”.  FUCK!  After I recovered from my heart attack, I unliked the status immediately and began to wonder if ex-bf still got a notification about it.  If he did, he was kind enough to ignore it and not remark, but holy shit, did I feel like an asshole for a few days.

After I moved to Virginia in 2010, I noticed I was missing my favorite pair of Coach gold sandals when it came time to  bring out spring and summer clothes. I searched and searched, both in VA and PA, and after a year convinced myself that I had lost them.  Left them somewhere to never be recovered, probably at an ex-bf’s house where they may have been thrown away.  I sucked it up, bought some new sandals and moved on.  When I went up to PA two weeks ago, I was digging around in my closet hoping I’d maybe left some sneakers there so I could go to the gym with my sister, and what did I find?  The missing pair of gold Coach sandals, in a shoe box, in my closet.  Guess I never thought to search there.

Here they are, making an appearance with my new coral pants. Doesn't matter that it was 47 degrees out this morning.

My toes are bright orange and my nails sparkly blue.  Apparently I was feeling silly when I picked out my colors at the salon last night, or like a 6 year-old girl.  Whatever.  The eye-brows have also been tamed, and I’m nearly ready for Vegas.  Damn though, being a woman is expensive.  However, having freshly waxed eyebrows makes me feel like a brand new woman, so that’s worth the $15 or whatever I paid last night.  (So bad at paying attention to prices).

In fact, I recently inquired with some of my ladies as to what a normal price is for a large sectional sofa, as it occurred to me I really had no idea.  Apparently, the $5000 Crate and Barrel charges is not normal, go figure.  Darren will be happy to learn I’m trying to take lessons in bargain hunting and being frugal.

This post was really random, but it will probably (definitely) be my last one until Monday or Tuesday, unless I pay for wi-fi on the flight tomorrow,  but I’ll probably be too busy drinking with my roommates to do such a thing.  Wish me luck in Vegas, homegirl can’t drink like she used to!  Oh and Happy Happy 30th Birthday to my friend Michelle! Miss you!


I’ve been listening to this on repeat all morning:

Yeah, I liked the original version, but I like this one better, sue me.  Ok, I really just have major crushes on Darren Criss and Matthew Bomer, at least one of them is straight IRL. Sigh.  Did you guys see that “Fighter” boxing/shower montage?! I mean, come on now!  Hold on, let me pull myself back together.

Ok.  Yesterday I had a fitness assessment at the gym here, which I’ll write more about on another day, but for now let’s just say it inspired me to put my sweaty workout clothes back on at the end of the day for a real workout.  You know what really hurts?  Running for the first time after two months of bronchitis.  Oh my lord am I out of running shape, and my lungs are out of shape also.  I’m sore today, time to work on that.

I leave for Vegas at the ass crack of dawn on Friday morning, so I should probably pack tonight or tomorrow, but I keep procrastinating in hopes that the forecast will change.  61 degrees is not what I was expecting Vegas to be like in April, I don’t even know what to pack now! Anyway, manis and pedis are happening tonight regardless of whether or not I’ll actually get to wear sandals.

Still no news on the house, but that doesn’t mean I have already decorated and renovated the whole thing, because I have.  Paint colors and bedding included, I told you I have issues.  There may be actual tears if Darren tells me he doesn’t like something when I show him next week.

If anyone has any advice as to how I can unclog my right ear before I hope on a 5 hour flight in two days, I will appreciate it.  Tootle loo!