• About Kelly

  • Recent Posts

  • Archives

  • Email Me With Any Questions!

    myverbalvomit@gmail.com
  • Top Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 84 other followers

SMBFS Volume III

***start period talk***Thanks for all the reassurance yesterday friends, I’m sure I’m fine, but as someone who has never missed a period or even been late before you can understand why I freaked out.  I’m now resigned to the fact that it’s just not coming this month, for whatever reason that may be.  Also, this is why I refused to go on that Seasonique crap, because I’m a basket case and I couldn’t handle being like this all the time.***end period talk*** 

And now, another volume of shit my boyfriend says coming at ya.  So when I told Dar about my little dilemma with my period being a no-show and maybe possibly being knocked up.  Instead of joining me in Freak Out Town, he said this:

“I wouldn’t be upset if you were pregnant, because we’d be an amazing family with our deadly little ninja warrior.”

Um, what? I simply banged my head against the table multiple times in a row.  He seemed to completely forget the fact that we live 13 hours away from one another, and I would have to stay here ALONE for health insurance purposes.  Men.  Also there was this little gem.

“Kind of ironic since back in the fall I said we should reproduce even if we don’t end up ever getting back together.”  He thinks we’d make awesome babies apparently.

Then, as the day went on yesterday, he just kept randomly texting me “ninja assassin” so finally I asked him if he wanted me pregnant now or something.  His response?

“Possibly, with shades of grey.”

Dear lord almighty, help me, I am not letting my bc out of my sight when he is around.  He’d be one of those freaks that subs baby aspirin for the bc pills.  I know that happens because I saw it on a Lifetime movie, and those are always completely legitimate.

Then, when I asked if we could at least wait until we lived in the same state to start procreating, he said it wasn’t really up to him, it was up to my uterus.  He is a freak, and now I’m rethinking our whole relationship, for a number of reasons.  I kid, sort of.

On to less weird and interesting things.  Yesterday’s workout was 33 minutes on the elliptical followed by some stretching and abs, and yet another annoying gym conversation.  Today I am not taking my headphones out of my ears.  Oh and did I mention this new gym bff happens to be a guy that hit on me in Starbucks a few weeks ago and told me he NEVER takes a lunch to workout during the day.  I may need to change my schedule.

So hey, tomorrow’s July, which just so happens to be my favorite month of the summer because I am immature and still look forward to my birthday.  Although this one much less so than previous, 26 is a scary age to me.  Mostly I look forward to birthday debauchery at Seacrets in OCMD. Weeeeeee!  Alright, well I’m out, catch ya later.

Where are Youuuu?

So, I had starting writing this blog post in my head when I was driving to work this morning, then I sat down at my desk, wrote an email, and forgot what I was going to write about here.  Typical.  Uh, I’ll try to wing it.

Well, it’s Wednesday, so there’s that and that’s pretty awesome.  I got a nice workout in yesterday, 15 minute run on the treadmill to warm-up followed by a weight workout of back, biceps, and legs.  Half way through, some dude felt the need to comment, “That’s some back work out you’re doing.”  Hmm not really, I though, but what I said was, “Well, it’s back, biceps, and legs day.”  Then I walked away.  Why do people feel the need to comment on EVERYTHING.  I know I don’t give off the “hey talk to me” vibe, especially in the gym.  Dani confirmed this for me.  Leave me alone folks, I don’t like people.

While I was in the mood to only eat potato chips and beer for dinner, I figured that wasn’t the best or healthiest idea.  I had another two pieces of chicken sitting in the fridge waiting for me to cook them, so I quickly threw them on the stove.  They had marinated in my fav Caribbean Jerk marinade before stored in the freezer.  To go with my chicken I prepared half a zucchini and half a yellow squash seasoned with garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper and some Alexa sweet potato fries.  I also drank two Landshark’s.  Then I had potato chips and another Landshark for desert.  I really wanted potato chips last night.

Heads up if any men read this, I’m about to talk about lady stuff, probably better to peace out now.  Ok, you’ve been warned.

So, my period decided to take a little vacation this month, I hope it had fun wherever it went, and not show up.  I’m not pregnant (made sure of that), so what gives?  I called my doctor this morning to inquire with her, because I’m supposed to start my next pack of pills today which would mean there’s no chance of it showing up.  She told me that it’s normal to miss one, and to just proceed as usual.  Uhh, if it’s so normal, how come it never happened before?  So, yeah, that’s what’s going on there.  I don’t know, whatever, as long as I’m not knocked up.  That would be unfortunate.

Anywho, happy Wednesday.  Have a good one.