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When Internet Friends Trump Real Friends

Hey guys! It’s Kacy from Low… and Behold! 

Kelly is off spending an entire week in bed with her boyfriend, I mean… getting a tan… in Jamaica so you’ll have to settle for me today.

We all hate her a little bit for that vacation, don’t we? We’re here, suffering through the holiday season (if you read my blog, you know I’m negative this time of year, if not – now you do) while she’s sipping umbrella drinks and exploiting Jamaican natives while they fan her with palm leaves.

She’s lucky I like her, or I’d be pissed. But I do like her. So it’s all good.

Kelly is a part of a group of Internet friends I’ve acquired that I wouldn’t trade for the world. We’ve met in real life and all, but the majority of our relationship thrives via email, and it’s kind of awesome.

This particular group of Internet friends is awesome, because we’re all basically the same bitch – with a few minor differences.

I wouldn’t trade this group for the world. As much as I love my real-life friends (aka, friends I met places other than through my blog), there is a particular set of skills that these girls have that I just couldn’t live without.

Internet friends can say meaner things to you, because they don’t have to see you cry after. I won’t say these girls are mean to me, but sometimes I get that dose of tough love I need to pull myself out of my own ass. Real life friends hesitate to do this, because then they have to see my ugly crying face. It’s not pretty.

Internet friends make you get your fat ass to the gym. This is partly because I ask them to make me go, but partly because they stand to lose nothing from me actually going to the gym. Real life friends want to go drink and do other non-healthy things because I’m there in person to actually hang out with. Real life friends are a bad influence in that way. Internet friends send you emails in all caps telling you to get to the gym or they’ll make you get down on your knees and beg… Or something like that, I’m actually not sure I remember how that exchange went down now. That sounds wrong…

Internet friends tell you dirty sex stories. Now, most of my real-life friends do this too, but when you have an email thread of five girls trading penis tales, shit gets really interesting. And no one holds back because you don’t have to look them in the eye after.

Internet friends listen to all your work woes, because they have nothing better to do. Let’s face it, 99% of the time you’re emailing back and forth in an email thread – it’s because you have nothing better to do. These girls listen to me bitch about work all day, and save me from having a psychotic break at least once a week. Even if it’s because they’re bored off their asses, it means a lot to me.

So yeah, even though I’m pretty bitter about Kelly’s vacation, she’s a pretty important part of my day-to-day life. Without my Internet friends I’d be narcissistic, fat, sexless and crying under my desk at work. And no one wants that.


And yes, the moral of this story is that I’m pathetic. Thanks for reading.

Everything is Annoying

I had to drive through not one, but three accidents this morning on my way to work.  That’s six idiots who couldn’t manage to get their shit together enough to not fucking drive into someone else.  And also, also, when you have a mother effing fender bender, for the love of god do not just sit there in the middle of the road! MOVE TO THE SHOULDER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, end rant, I feel slightly better.

So it’s Wednesday already, which is pretty cool, except I seem to be currently going through puberty and have a massive zit growing on my head.  Wtf?  I’m trying very hard not to mess with it, it’s difficult though.  Uuh, anyway I’m about ready to drop kick my computer because for some reason the IP address it’s sending to the interwebs is getting recognized as coming from overseas, so I can’t do fun things like stream video on Hulu.  Any ideas on how I can fix this?  There’s a lot of downtime here and I have a lot of TV shows to catch up on.

Despite my hangover from the long weekend, I managed to drag myself across the street to the gym during lunch yesterday.  Triceps and chest workout and 33 minutes on the elliptical.  They started classes yesterday, and I think I may have to check a few out.  Yesterday was some sort of boot camp type thing, looked interesting from what I saw through the doors.

Want to know a secret?  I just unpacked my suitcase from my trip to Chicago last night :).  Yes, I did get back almost three weeks ago, I have problems.  Not only did I finally unpack, but I did laundry, and put the clothes away instead of just leaving them in my laundry basket.  That’s impressive for me people.  I also made dinner.  Granted it really only involved throwing a defrosted turkey burger made a few weeks ago onto the stove top, some sweet potato fries in the oven, and an ear of corn in a pot to boil, but for a Tuesday I was pretty damn productive.  Which means I get to stop and buy a bottle of wine on the way home from work today.

Alright, happy Wednesday, but seriously if anyone has any ideas of how to fix my Internet, I’ll be super happy.