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Hello Stress, Now go Away

Hello and happy Monday! With one week to go until the big day, I am one giant ball of stress trying to get a ton of last-minute things done.  Mostly because of conversations that go like this:

Me: “Hun, did you actually read this before signing it?”
Dar: “Yeah, why?”
Me: “So then you know we need proof of insurance 7 days prior to closing?”
Dar: “It says that?”
Me: “Mmmhmm, and that would be Monday, which gives us 1.5 days to purchase, pay for, and have proof of said insurance.”
Dar: “Ok, I lied, I didn’t really read it.”
Me: “No, kidding.”
Dar: “Well, do you think you could take care of all that, I’m not going to have time, and you’re on a computer all day.”

If only I were one of those people that couldn’t eat when they were stressed.  Instead, I’ve already had two breakfasts and a snack today.  It’s 11 am.

So instead of talking about completely unfun things like that, let’s talk about something exciting!  I know I briefly mentioned this, but not too long ago my mom got engaged.  Here’s her stunning ring,

annnnnd one more just because it’s so pretty

The two of them haven’t really started planning their big day yet, but when I talked to my mom last night she mentioned the idea of a Napa wedding.  Wedding in wine country?  Now that’s something I can get on board with.  Also, death to anyone who even jokes about a joint wedding.  I’m serious.

This weekend was pretty regular, a relaxing Friday at home, followed by all day kickball fun and an early Saturday bedtime.  Then yesterday I did some furniture shopping, which would have been more fun if I could have bought things.  Perhaps tomorrow I’ll do a post on the furniture we are considering.  I mean, you guys know I can’t make a decision without your help.  Have a lovely day!

Just a Little Help

Oh hello, how are you all today?  Still crippled over here, even my armpit hurts, waaaah.  Yesterday I attempted to workout, and wanted to cry the entire 40 minutes I was on the elliptical.  I’m hoping this soreness goes away by tomorrow just in time for me to do the workout again and cause severe pain for the weekend.  I’ll probably end up on the elliptical again today watching the World Cup game at lunch time.  Go USA!

Last night when I was cooking dinner, I found myself faced with yet another zucchini and yellow squash to use up before they went bad.  Now don’t get me wrong, those are two of my favorite summer time veggies, but I just couldn’t face them one more time roasted or grilled.  I ended up peeling both into strips and throwing them in a pan with some olive oil, salt and pepper to saute.  This was still sounding super boring to me, so at the last minute I transferred everything to a casserole dish, mixed it with marinara, topped with some cheese, and threw it into the oven.  I’ve made zucchini and yellow squash lasagna before, so I didn’t think this would end up a complete disaster.  I was right.

Blurry iPhone picture, but you get the idea.  Served with a piece of BBQ chicken, a weird combo for sure, but it was good, and a lot less boring than plain roasted veggies.  After dinner I actually got to chat with my boyfriend for a little while (his hours are insane in the summer) and got into an interesting discussion.

Apparently that day at work, he was brainstorming proposal ideas (I wish he wouldn’t tell me these things) and running them by his guys, and thought he had come up with some good ones.  Now, knowing Dar is a little, umm over the top, I managed to slip it into the convo that I think intimate proposals are a lot more special and what I would prefer.  He was surprised and then said, “well I guess I can tell you about what I thought was a good idea then”.  Long story short, baseball stadium surprise proposal.  I was like, nope no way, I would die of embarrassment with all those people there, much more low- key please.  He was like, ok well I’m glad we had this chat.  Men, sometimes they need just a little help.

So yeah, ladies if you’re married/engaged how’d your man propose, if you’re not, how would you want him to?  I wouldn’t mind if a few close friends and family were there, but 65,000 strangers, no thanks!

Chapter 3

Throughout the spring, our relationship continued to feel strained and I began to wonder if it was a mistake to continue.  There were a lot of conversations that started with “I don’t know if I want to do this anymore,” but a full break-up never happened.  As I always used to say, I would rather fight with him then not fight with anyone else so together we stayed.  Soon it was my turn to graduate and our last summer home was upon us.

That summer brought a lot of firsts for me, first time traveling without my parents, first time getting drunk, first time throwing up from getting drunk, the first time I ran away from home, first time smoking a cigarette and the first time I really had my heart broken.  The first few weeks after graduation brought weekends filled with parties and celebrating.  I somehow ended up at my ex boyfriends party, where because of him and my one guy friend constantly refilling my cup, I ended up downing a few too many Yuengling’s.  A few hours later, I was getting driven home and trying to stumble up to bed, where I promptly threw up all over the hallway on my second floor.

Three weeks after graduation, I was off to Universal Studios with five of my high school girlfriends for Senior Week.  A whole week without parental supervision, no job to go to, and nothing to do but have fun.  We did it all that week, Universal, Islands of Adventure, Magic Kingdom, MGM, Downtown Disney, it was a fantastic week.  I sang karaoke for the first time, that was where I smoked my first cigarette, and I came home looking forward to my 18th birthday.

Things between The German and I were still feeling strained.  I was off drinking, which he didn’t like, and trying smoking when I had begged and pleaded for him to quit.  He was still the one I went to when I returned from Florida, ran away from home, and refused to go back until my mom and sister came home from vacation though.

Four days before my birthday, my mom and I went off to Virginia for Freshman orientation day at JMU.  It was amazing, and made me even more excited to start college there the next month.  When I returned home on July 16, I received a text message from The German, “Call me when you get home, I need to talk to you.”  I was still excited from my few days at JMU, didn’t think anything of it, and called him ready to begin a cheerful conversation.

I was stopped almost immediately by the words that came out of his mouth, “Kel, I can’t do this anymore.  We can’t see each other anymore.”  This conversation had taken place before, so I didn’t immediately believe he was serious and tried to talk him out of it.  He told me he’d been feeling this way for weeks, but every time he tried to break-up before he would see me getting upset and couldn’t do it.  I tried to talk him out of it, I cried and cried, but at this point he was already drinking at his house with some of his friends and didn’t want to talk anymore.  He said he’d pick me up from work the next day to talk in person.  He hung up the phone, and didn’t answer any of my calls for the rest of the night.  I spent the night crying, wondering how the boy I loved could break up with me two days before my birthday.

He did pick me up from work the next day, but his mind was made up, and our relationship was over.  The next day, in order to not make my 18th birthday the most depressing birthday of my life (it was supposed to be my golden birthday) I went and got my belly button pierced and three of my friends scooped me up and took me down the shore with them.  I drank some beers, I played and won my first game of beer pong, and a few hours later I received my first underage drinking citation.  Yup, this birthday just kept getting better and better.  After that we were out of a place to stay for the night, my ex happened to have a house down the shore all summer and came to pick us up and take him to his place after I called him.  Broken hearted and feeling lonely I acted like an idiot, and it almost ruined everything.

The following week brought much of the same kind of behavior, drinking at night with friends, feeling sad and lonely during the day at work.  At least while I was out having fun, I wasn’t thinking about how much I missed The German.  He didn’t make it easy for me to try to get over him though.  He would show up at work to have lunch with me, give me a hug and a kiss, and it felt like we were still together.  Finally, towards the end of that week I told him I couldn’t just be his friend.  That it hurt me too much to see him but not be with him, and he said that’s not what he wanted and that it hurt him to hear me say that.  I stood my ground though, and prepared for another weekend at the shore this time not just for fun.  I had a court date Friday morning to take care of that underage citation, but hey at least I was at the beach.

When I woke up that Sunday morning, I had a text message from The German and I called him when I was home from the shore that afternoon.  He had been riding his bike in the park, and saw a sunset that made him think of me and miss me, and asked me on a date to the movies.  I said yes, and that Sunday marked the beginning of us hanging out together again.  It almost all blew up in my face though, when he found out I had hooked up with someone while we were broken up.  I pulled out all the stops to apologize, I’d lost my license a month earlier because of a speeding ticket but I rode my bike all the way to his house to talk to him and beg for him to forgive me.  He did finally, and by the beginning of August we were officially back together.

On August 15, 2003 The German came to have lunch with me at work and suggested we finally have that picnic dinner we always talked about having, but never did.  He came back and picked me up at work at the end of the day, brought me home to change clothes, and we went to get our picnic food.  Naturally we stopped at WAWA to grab sandwiches (did anyone who lives in PA not live on WAWA in high school?) and drinks, and went to the park to a spot by the water we had seen before.  We sat and ate and talked, and at some point when we were finished eating The German and I leaned in for a kiss and when I pulled back, he had the open ring box in his hand.  Not having me for a few weeks made him realize how much he wanted to be with me forever, and he wanted to marry me.  That is one day of my life that I’ll never forget.

Four days later I left for college, happily engaged to the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

the day I left for school

Next week, find out how it all ended a year and a half later, and really ended a year and a half after that…