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Yup, Still Depressed

So, I haven’t blogged about anything really break-up related in a while and there’s a reason for that. Pretty much everything is exactly the same as it was two and a half months ago. I still am half owner of a house I will never live in, still waiting to get my money back, and I still struggle to get through just about every day of the living hell that is my life. I’m still sad, all of the time (I cried in the middle of a restaurant last week), and I nearly have a panic attack every time my phone makes a noise because I’m afraid it might be a text coming from him, and they usually don’t say anything nice or uplifting.

I’ve logged onto the Verizon website numerous times and put his number onto the “block” list, but I haven’t been able to pull the trigger and hit submit.  I also realized, after going on about 4 dates, that I am definitely not ready to be dating anyone. Number one clue was that I was inadvertently dodging any kind of contact and cringing if it happened. So that’s on hold until I can actually feel emotions besides rage and sadness again. A friend asked me how I was doing the other day, and the best answer I could come up with was “depends on the day, anywhere from train wreck to fine.”  I really think that’s the only answer right now, and I want to feel better than “fine” someday soon.

Despite the cloud of depression constantly hovering over me these days, I still managed to have a fun weekend. Just like last year, the roommates and I threw a family BBQ that involved lots of wine and delicious food.  Photo montage coming at you in 3…2…1…

Hopefully the ridiculous faces I’m making in the pictures help counteract the depressing first part of this post. Happy Monday?

The Best Ever

Hello, I’m back!  I say that less than enthusiastically, as yesterday’s goodbye may have been the hardest and saddest one in the past year and a half of long distance dating.  I had a wonderful, extra long, weekend in Wisconsin with my love in our house, and I don’t want to have to wait 7.5 weeks to go back.

I have lots of pictures to share, including a deck restoration post, but I’ll save that for tomorrow and just share some general house pics and stories from the weekend today.  After realizing it wouldn’t cost me anything to change my flight, I headed out to WI a day early on the 6:30 pm flight Wednesday night.  An hour and a half later, we were back on the ground in a new time zone.  Since I was super excited to get to the house, we just picked up some takeout on the way home, and then Darren gave me the grand tour.

The house is amazing. I love every single thing about it, and I was so happy I almost cried when we were walking around. It was just so surreal to think that it was officially ours to do with what we want.  The rest of the night we just kind of hung out watching TV and eating our dinner.  We both had to get up and work on Thursday morning, me from the comforts of our kitchen table and Darren was off to the condos he’s painting.  Can I just say how awesome it was to wake up together on a weekday, make our bed, and then go to work?  It almost felt like we were a normal couple for a minute.

This was my work set-up for Thursday

I hung out at the house all day, working and taking pictures of things, while also waiting for the AC repair guy to tell us what we already suspected.  Yup, it’s broken, haha.  We knew it would have to be replaced sooner rather than later since it’s from 1987, but 11 days after closing?  Sigh.  Luckily, the temps were staying in the high 70s and dropping into the 50s at night, so we didn’t really miss it that much over the weekend.

Since our bedroom is really the only fully decorated room in the house, I’ll start with those pictures, also because I’m obsessed with it.

Anything smaller than a king size bed now feels like I’m being smothered.

Darren mounted the TV on a rotating arm and hid the cables behind the wall. It’s sweet.  Also sweet? A ceiling fan above the bed.

This is the room that will eventually have my Pottery Barn furniture, but is currently serving as a guest room/office.

Now, the next few rooms strongly resemble a frat house from 1980, but that’s only because we’re currently using old furniture that we already had or was given to us until we can afford to furnish the rest of the house.  Ya know, cause we have to buy things like a new air conditioner.

Don’t tell Darren, but the wood paneling started to grow on me.

Just one of the 23 TVs in the house.

Giant couch and TV

At least the couch is comfy

The kitchen is nothing fancy, yet, but I did add some feminine touches to take away from the multiple containers of protein powder atop the fridge.


Wine rack!

Wine canvas, both from Target, duh.

Also, did you notice our floors?  They are real hardwood, and I am OBSESSED.  I think I cleaned the floor three times in the 4 days I was there.  I love them.

so beautifullll and this picture pretty accurately shows just how light they are

The outside of the house isn’t too shabby either, and we have a giant back yard and side yard.  The landscaping needs some work since the sellers hadn’t lived there for a year, so don’t worry, we’re working on it.

The brown will be painted gray shortly

our pretty birch tree

So that’s pretty much it.  We do have an unfinished basement that spans the entire size of the house.  It’s currently serving as our gym, Darren’s work space, and a paint storage facility.  I’m going to save the pictures of the backyard until tomorrow when I post about our deck restoration, but now here’s some photos of people!

Standing in front of our house

Enjoying our first BBQ.. I’d had a lot of sangria

Anyway, so happy Monday! How were all your weekends?

Weeknight Fun

Today, I am moving slightly slower than normal for a Friday.  As I mentioned yesterday, it was Adrienne’s birthday, and to celebrate we had a small gathering of friends, also known as an orgy (10 Things reference, anyone?) over for a BBQ.  I drank a little too much wine, and stayed up a little too late, but whatevs it was fun.  It was also somewhat chilly, so we took advantage of that and lit our chiminea for the first time in a long time.

spotted! my new red striped Toms

Dani and I sitting around the fire

There were burgers, dogs, macaroni and potato salad, cupcakes, chips and salsa, all of the things that make BBQs delicious.  I think the birthday girl enjoyed her little party, and hopefully she isn’t too tired today.

I’m planning to hit the road up to PA around 3:30 this afternoon (even though I’ve technically worked enough hours this week to have the whole day off) and hopefully will make it there without hitting too much traffic.  I have dinner plans tonight with my mom, and then tomorrow I’m spending the day in Philly getting my hair did and probably spending more money that I really shouldn’t.  My sis arrives home from California on a 7:35 flight, so after I pick her up we’ll hopefully have a lovely sister date.

I hope you all have some fab plans for the weekend as well.  Happy Friday!