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It’s Not Easy

Lately, mainly right now, I’m really tired living my life in the form of a countdown.  I feel like I’m always counting down to some event in the future, and not enjoying things happening right now.  Last night I was sitting on the couch thinking how much better last Wednesday night was, when I was looking forward to Darren’s impending arrival.  All I have to look forward to this week, is a weekend with no plans, and a Halloween with no costume.  Lame, I know.

The thing is, there’s no end to this living life from visit to visit in sight.  Darren and I both agreed that while it sucks, the best thing for us to do is keep me here until November 2013 when my 3 year job contract is fulfilled.  My 401k account is fully vested, three-year employment reward is given, and I don’t have to pay back my relocation money. I try to tell myself that this first year went by SO fast, and that two more really isn’t a big deal, but then a visit ends and the week of sadness following sets in.

In this past year of long distance dating I’ve come to realize a few things about the process.  If you can make it to the final three-week countdown, time seems to fly by.  So for us, when we go the typical 6 weeks between visits, the first three are what blow the most.  The first one especially, because you’re still remembering how much better everything was when the person you love is actually with you.  That’s the week I’m in right now, which probably explains my major funk this week, and I know that.  It still sucks though.  So yeah, six weeks exactly until I’m home in December with my love and our families.

Ok, sorry if I was depressing, but like I said that’s the mood I’m in this week.  Yesterday was a pretty standard day.  Work, workout, dinner, wine, tons of TV.  The workout was the cardio interval one I posted the other week.  Alternating 2 minutes sprints with 1 minute recovery for 30 minutes.  Left me purple faced and sweaty, just the way I like it.  Also, you know what sucks?  Realizing you forgot your shower shoes AFTER you finish you sweat fest of a workout and have to go back to work.  Ever showered on your tip toes?  I have.

Anyway, I was convinced today was Friday for a while, it’s not.  I’m hoping I can work from home tomorrow because the heat is going to be shut off in our building all day, so we’ll see what happens.  Have a great Thursday friends.

 

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12 Responses

  1. Sorry you’re having a rough week! I’ve been feeling very blah this week too. At least you have your comforts at home (TV, wine, sweaty workouts) to keep you (slightly) sane but playing the waiting game does suck. I too am playing that same game at my job.

  2. I’m sorry, that really does suck. It will go fast though and it will be here before you know it.
    I’m totally going to have to do the tip toe shower today. Not looking forward to it.

  3. Wallow away, girl. I have a hard time when Brandon goes somewhere overnight, so I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you. And one year for Halloween I was a mob wife- went to Sal Val and bought a fake fur coat, wore pearls and fishnets and red lipstick. Cheap, easy and an excuse to buy a fake fur.

  4. I found your blog not too long ago, and I can really relate. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years…two of which have been long distance. It blows. You definitely captured my feelings perfectly in this post. Keep on trucking through…you have an amazing vacation to look forward to!

  5. I cant even imagine how hard it would be to do the whole long distance thing. You’re allowed to get upset about it. Have yourself a couple bottles of wine (umm . . . I mean glasses), and just know I’m drinking with you.

  6. I would imagine showering on your tippy toes would be a great calf workout…

    Sorry this week has been a bummer. 😦 And I know what you mean- I’ve always got something in the future I’m looking at. Never really just looking at today. I swear I’m wishing my life away…

  7. Feel free to vent away – that’s what we’re all here for!

  8. I hope the time goes fast for you. It sounds very tough. I’m sorry 😦

    You can always just dress as a runner and wear workout clothes with compression socks and a headband.

  9. Dude, today really felt like a Friday! What’s up with that? So sad. At least we only have one more day to go! 🙂

  10. I hate these sad posts after Darren leaves! I definitely know how it feels, and I concur….it stinks! But, nothing can compare to the feeling you get when you are picking them up from the airport and you see them for the first time coming out of the terminal. I smile again every time I think about it. 🙂 Those little moments I hold on to make the long in betweens worth it.

  11. Ahh, this post brings back so many memories. My fiancee and I were long distance for three years during college. I was always counting down the days until I saw him again and also constantly thinking how awesome it was the week before, night before, whatever…when it was either looking forward to seeing him or being with him. I made myself crazy. As crazy as it was though, I don’t think I’d exchange it for a time without him. Looking forward to something that is actually there is a lot better than trying to find something you think “might” be there…does that make sense? Sorry to get sappy, but I totally feel your pain. And if you ever want to put the missing aside…just come over to the Kentlands for a glass of wine!

  12. I’m sorry that you are having a bad week. I admire you for being able to handle a long distance relationship. Although, it’s difficult now, before you know it, you will be living together. Also, your trip will be here before you know it. Stay strong, Kelly 🙂

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