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Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Eve Internet! I am unfortunately one of the few assholes at work today, I know this because I encountered maybe two other cars on my drive in this morning.  Oh well, fingers crossed we get to go home early.

We are hosting Christmas Eve dinner at my house for the first time this year, which means heading to the BYOB Italian restaurant across the street.  This is personally one of my favorite places to eat, so I am very excited.  I am also so happy that this year I won’t have someone rushing me through dinner with my family so we can go hang out with theirs.  Nothing is more irritating than trying to enjoy a nice dinner when the person sitting next to you is constantly texting/nudging you to get out of there, and getting up every ten minutes to smoke a cigarette.  And then getting woken up with a phone call at 6 am because that same person got hammered and managed to lock himself out on his second floor balcony all night.  Yes, this year will be 10,000 times better.

Our family gatherings typically leave me with tons of comedic fodder for months to come.  There was a period of time, for I think two or three years in a row, where my mom would get absolutely tanked and narrate The Night Before Christmas, with hand gestures.  I think I laughed so hard I cried.  This past Thanksgiving, my cousin didn’t make it home from being out the night before until dinner was on the table.  Then of course, every year I get to blatantly secretly make fun of my moms boyfriend du jour with other members of my family.  My sister and I will sit there and laugh and judge, and my Uncle gets a kick out of it.  I don’t think anyone will let my mom forget about the boyfriend that came for Thanksgiving dinner, and then did ALL of the dishes.

So Internet, try not to get to annoyed with your families this year.  Enjoy their quirks and funny stories that get repeated year after year.  Bring lots of booze if it’s necessary, and pretend to love your presents even if you happen to get a hideous sweater with reindeer on it or something.  I’ll be back after the long weekend with Christmas stories, and will finally be able to reveal what is in this box:

since I know everyone is as curious as I am.  Merry Christmas!  Please enjoy one of my favorite Christmas songs of all time.

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One Response

  1. whoa! i came home while it was in the oven..lol…right?

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